I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
