did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
