alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
