I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
we have officially lost it.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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