I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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