So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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