i wish my penis had a tongue
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
