i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
