So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
We left an ass print on the piano.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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