How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
nutella sex= disaster
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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