I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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