note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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