there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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