I wanna passion pit in your ass
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
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yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
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So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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