Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
