Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
