Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize