we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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