And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Randomize
