This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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