why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
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