Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
