I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
