is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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