I will die if light touches me.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
