WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
