im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
