did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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