She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I think your dad took our porno
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
