Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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