Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
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