Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
