Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
