Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Randomize