No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Where is the hickey?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
of course. lets lasso hookers.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
