addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
