She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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