Just mADE A PArabola og urine
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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