we have pet lesbian snakes
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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