I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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