remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.