If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.