Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
These Attractive Criminals Got Modeling Contracts After Getting Arrested
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!