Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic