Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
