Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
