Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
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And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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