it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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