I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize