Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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