I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
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organizing the empties. That sober.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
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omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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