PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
He shit in the fireplace
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
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