a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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