please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
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