why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
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