No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
