Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
