Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
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