ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
