I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
