dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
God gave him joint rollers for hands
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
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